Did you know that doctors giving mental evaluations use common phrases, such as don’t cry over spilled milk, as a tool in determining a patient’s mental state? I didn’t, until recently. It seems simple enough. The doctor asks you to define a commonly known phrase, and you provide a rational, globally accepted answer. If instead you offer up “it means you ought to take the Number 7 bus on Thursdays”, well, you just might find yourself sharing a room with that guy from the movie Overboard who liked to eat his checkers.
For me, however, I now have the unfortunate knowledge of a more literal translation of this phrase.
It’s a rarity in CNY today. Sunny and 50 degrees before we’ve even reached St. Patty’s Day. I’m out in my 2006 Subaru wagon, a/k/a the Grocery Getter, and my windows are down. Of course they are, you say! It’s SUNNY! It’s over 30 degrees! What fool wouldn’t embrace a day like this around here? But my windows are down for a different reason, and will probably still be down a week from now, even if Mother Nature decides to drop another two feet of snow in honor of St. Patrick. The reason for my wind blown hair is the downright raunchy stench emanating from the way back of the wagon, where there has been a milk spill. And I assure you, I AM crying over it.
The spill did not occur on Tuesday when I brought home the week’s groceries, or e
ven last week while my toddler rode with me on a half hour trip to the city. The spill happened two months ago. So I did what most Subaru owners would do – I took care of my Subi when the half gallon of milk I bought decided it had enough of the standing up thing, tipped over on the way home, and leaked. It wasn’t a huge leak. The top to the container was even in tact, keeping the entire half gallon from flowing all over the carpeting. And as soon as I got home I cleaned up Subi's (my) mess. I blotted, I scrubbed with stain remover and water, blotted some more and said a little prayer that from now on my milk would stay upright. I figured that was the end of the lesson.
How very wrong and foolish I was. To those of you that have kids, you probably already know the evil that lurks in spilled milk. But my daughter is not quite two and doesn’t travel very far, so the adventures of roadie drinks have not yet begun in our family. I learned this week, when the sun made its way here (finally), and heated up the car interior to 90 plus, that milk should no longer be allowed near my vehicle unless it is securely fastened to the roof with bungee cords.
The nauseous factor from the reek rivaled the tummy churning teacup ride at Disney World. My niece and I got in the car over the weekend, when the sun had first appeared.
Me: “What is that awful smell?”
Her: “I don’t know, what?”
Me: “You can’t smell that? It smells like garbage. It’s awful!”
She sniffs.
Her: “Eww. Yeah, I kinda smell it now. What is it?”
We look around, lift up the dog’s blanket that protects the back seat from hair (Yeah right! The back seat upholstery looks like it's made of golden retriever fur- but that’s a smell for another blog). The brief search turns up no concrete evidence of the horrid smell. Off we go anyway, ‘cause we’re in a hurry. We haven’t got time for bad smells.
I don’t drive my car much on weekends, so it’s a few days later. I have to put my daughter’s spare car seat in the way back to get it home. And there it is. THE STENCH! The milk incident came rushing back to mind, and then to stomach- it was all I could do not to hurl.
What to do? You Google it, of course. I keyed in “how to get rid of spilled milk stains in carpet” and “how to get rid of spoiled milk smell in car”. Several million hits later, I’m in hysterics at the plight of man vs. milk. I am not the only one. And I am, by far, not the hardest hit. Some have had entire GALLONS forgotten in their car- until it exploded under the back seat... in August. Others had 'coffee with milk' products accidentally dumped in dashboards, cupholders and floorboards. The list is endless. And most of those people let their cars get re-possessed or traded them in for new rides. Really. A few solutions were offered- use white vinegar, or baking soda, or spend an hour and Shop Vac the crap out of it. On my small spill I used a microbe based, odor removing carpet cleaner that my husband happened to have on hand. It has helped tremendously. My car now smells mostly of upholstery cleaner rather than a combo of dirty feet and moldy cheese. But I was one of the lucky ones.
I hope you have the good fortune of avoiding this altogether. Don’t be a victim of milk violence. Before you ride, make sure your milk is in an upright and locked position!
For me, however, I now have the unfortunate knowledge of a more literal translation of this phrase.
It’s a rarity in CNY today. Sunny and 50 degrees before we’ve even reached St. Patty’s Day. I’m out in my 2006 Subaru wagon, a/k/a the Grocery Getter, and my windows are down. Of course they are, you say! It’s SUNNY! It’s over 30 degrees! What fool wouldn’t embrace a day like this around here? But my windows are down for a different reason, and will probably still be down a week from now, even if Mother Nature decides to drop another two feet of snow in honor of St. Patrick. The reason for my wind blown hair is the downright raunchy stench emanating from the way back of the wagon, where there has been a milk spill. And I assure you, I AM crying over it.
The spill did not occur on Tuesday when I brought home the week’s groceries, or e
ven last week while my toddler rode with me on a half hour trip to the city. The spill happened two months ago. So I did what most Subaru owners would do – I took care of my Subi when the half gallon of milk I bought decided it had enough of the standing up thing, tipped over on the way home, and leaked. It wasn’t a huge leak. The top to the container was even in tact, keeping the entire half gallon from flowing all over the carpeting. And as soon as I got home I cleaned up Subi's (my) mess. I blotted, I scrubbed with stain remover and water, blotted some more and said a little prayer that from now on my milk would stay upright. I figured that was the end of the lesson.How very wrong and foolish I was. To those of you that have kids, you probably already know the evil that lurks in spilled milk. But my daughter is not quite two and doesn’t travel very far, so the adventures of roadie drinks have not yet begun in our family. I learned this week, when the sun made its way here (finally), and heated up the car interior to 90 plus, that milk should no longer be allowed near my vehicle unless it is securely fastened to the roof with bungee cords.
The nauseous factor from the reek rivaled the tummy churning teacup ride at Disney World. My niece and I got in the car over the weekend, when the sun had first appeared.
Me: “What is that awful smell?”
Her: “I don’t know, what?”
Me: “You can’t smell that? It smells like garbage. It’s awful!”
She sniffs.
Her: “Eww. Yeah, I kinda smell it now. What is it?”
We look around, lift up the dog’s blanket that protects the back seat from hair (Yeah right! The back seat upholstery looks like it's made of golden retriever fur- but that’s a smell for another blog). The brief search turns up no concrete evidence of the horrid smell. Off we go anyway, ‘cause we’re in a hurry. We haven’t got time for bad smells.
I don’t drive my car much on weekends, so it’s a few days later. I have to put my daughter’s spare car seat in the way back to get it home. And there it is. THE STENCH! The milk incident came rushing back to mind, and then to stomach- it was all I could do not to hurl.
What to do? You Google it, of course. I keyed in “how to get rid of spilled milk stains in carpet” and “how to get rid of spoiled milk smell in car”. Several million hits later, I’m in hysterics at the plight of man vs. milk. I am not the only one. And I am, by far, not the hardest hit. Some have had entire GALLONS forgotten in their car- until it exploded under the back seat... in August. Others had 'coffee with milk' products accidentally dumped in dashboards, cupholders and floorboards. The list is endless. And most of those people let their cars get re-possessed or traded them in for new rides. Really. A few solutions were offered- use white vinegar, or baking soda, or spend an hour and Shop Vac the crap out of it. On my small spill I used a microbe based, odor removing carpet cleaner that my husband happened to have on hand. It has helped tremendously. My car now smells mostly of upholstery cleaner rather than a combo of dirty feet and moldy cheese. But I was one of the lucky ones.
I hope you have the good fortune of avoiding this altogether. Don’t be a victim of milk violence. Before you ride, make sure your milk is in an upright and locked position!
