FSOG Is Sooooo Not About Abuse. At all.

It's rare that I get fired up enough about something to post here, and keep it here.
I just write some crap, then eventually take it down when I'm so embarrassed by it that I just CAN'T leave it up any longer. (Of course, I had to leave up the thing about the milk spills. Because, ya know, I'm all about the bettering of humanity. No one needs to be kept in the dark about that.)

I mean really, the last time I posted was years ago.

 "No one reads this, anyway"...right? Right.

 Today though, I'm just fed up. I've had it with generalizations about serious topics, the sensationalism of the media about everything, and the stupidity that seems to run rampant in our attention-lacking society these days.

 Yes, this will just be a blip on the radar of life. Yes, soon everyone will forget about these books or this movie in favor of bitching about some other book or movie or serious catastrophic event.

In the meantime though, I'm being bombarded by opinions of people that haven't even read this book, or yet seen the movie. (How could they, it isn't even out yet - unless people in this podunk town somehow got into a fancy pre-screening or just got back from Berlin's screening that happened, um...yesterday.)

 Probably not, right? Right.

 So, here's the thing. 50 Shades of Grey is not about a man abusing a woman. It is not about rape or torture or exclusively about bondage, or solely about a woman submitting to a man (by choice, by the way). It is, first and foremost, a love story and quite the opposite - it is about a man surrendering to a woman.

But hey, if you didn't read the book - you don't know that.

 If all you did was listen to the sensationalized media accounts of how racy the movie is, you don't know that.

 I actually could have let mainstream ladies who blush at the mention of "BDSM" think this, and let it go. I would not have felt compelled to write a 'shut the hell up you have no idea what you're talking about' blog, and would have watched the masses be led away from this work of FICTION because they aren't into bondage and all that "stuff".

 Hey, whatever doesn't float your boat, that's okay with me. Really. I'm not into all that "stuff" either. I'm into made up stories. Escapism. Reading a book because I can't wait to see what happens on the next page, and the next...doesn't really matter to me what the subject is, if it is well written or interests me. I like suspending disbelief for awhile. It's what readers (and, ahem - writers!) of fiction do.

But I get fired up when I hear someone fighting for a cause- like those who stand up in defense of abused women every day, trying to put an end to a truly horrible problem - speaking out on local radio news clips saying that this movie PROMOTES violence. Promotes abuse, simply because it has the topic of submission in it. That it is promoting the idea that a woman should want a man to use fear, intimidation or wealth to coerce her into being submissive - and should enjoy it.

WTF?!

 Really??

 If this is what you think, you have no idea what you are talking about. Because none of this happens in the book.

 This work of FICTION (again, bears repeating)...is no more about the abuse of women than Bambi was about animal abuse. Than Cinderella is about child abuse. Than Ghostbusters promotes violence against ghosts. Or New York City.  Or hey, let's take it one step further - it's no more about abuse than the first Harry Potter was about child abuse. Harry's family made him live under the stairs before he went to Hogwarts, right?! I mean c'mon, what kind of crazy shit is that?!

 Stop listening to the media hype about FSOG. Just ignore it. If it's not your thing, great. Don't go see it. Don't read the books. The writing is not stellar, and there are a crap-ton of books that are better. (There are FAR more that are worse, too, and praised more than the Bible itself - but I digress...)

 Not everyone who is a fan of this book/movie is a pervert. Not everyone who likes it is Godless. Just as someone who might have no idea what I'm talking about in this post isn't necessarily Amish and hanging out with Vanilla Ice.

 But please, for the love of Pete, stop involving worthy causes in your fear of this movie. Because that's all it is. Fear. An absolute real concern you have that Oh goodness, this movie is going to take us back to the stone ages. Don't insult REAL domestic abuse survivors, or the worthy cause of trying to eliminate it, by talking about it as though this movie is "bringing back" the notion it's okay to abuse women, or for women to be forced to be a submissive little housewife. Or, to be forced to be anything.

This is not okay. It never has been.

And, more to the point, it isn't wrong for women to want to be taken care of, in some capacity.

 It was just a book. Meant to entertain. Meant to distract you from the kids screaming over the last Oreo or the fact that you have to go out and shovel. Again.

 I guarantee you when it was just a tiny, newborn baby thought in the author's head, she did not intend to turn your husband or boyfriend (or... whomever), into a Neanderthal that would club you over the head and drag you off to bed, only to tie you up to it until you scream (for more), and then chain you to the sink and force you to wash the dishes.

 It's just-a-book-that-turned-into-a-movie. And it happens to have some sex in it. And some bondage.

Ya know. Regular stuff.

But it is not promotion for abusive behavior. Abusive behavior = not okay. Okay?

Move on, folks. Nothing more to see here.